Home Sweet Home

Dano is coming home today and I think everyone is pretty excited. I am sure Dan is looking forward to being back on camp after 4 1/2 weeks of being in the hospital. I will be sure and get some pictures of him this afternoon and post them for you all. For those of you who have given to Dan a huge THANK YOU! It doesn't seem like it is enough, but thank you! I am also going to see if I can get some picts from his Mom when he was in ICU so you can see where we have come from in such a short time.
Our local newspaper is doing an article on Dan's accident which is kind of exciting. At some point I plan on taking Dan over to the Rim Rock Fire Department so he can meet them. They asked for updates and for them I am sure that seeing Dan walking and talking would be encouraging.
Have a great Day and I will post more on the homecoming tonight!
K

Good Talk Dan

I had a great time today with Dan just hanging out and talking. I was there from about 3 pm to 6 pm, even had me a $3 meal. It was good to just sit and talk about what is going on and where he is going to go from here. Dan still needs our prayers, I think a big prayer request would be for patience. In his words "I am just done with all this" referring to the casts, the pain in his head and face, his wound vac, the time in the hospital. I know that all of you who know Danny know that what he is going through now is a big challenge for him. To not be able to get out and do things is a bit tough on him.
Another thing that he has talked about with several people and we talked about it quite a bit today is "if God let me live he must have plans for me...i just don't know what they are". Dan realizes that it is by the grace of God that he is even alive. He believes there is a purpose for his life and he is really seeking God to know what that purpose is. Toward the end of our conversation I asked him what specifically to ask for prayer for and this was it. (I brought up the patience one and he agreed.) This is what Dan is processing and what he asked prayer for. He and I have talked about the fact that working in maintenance at UCYC is not his lifetime career. While he is good at it, really we have seen that he is gifted at working with the kids here at camp. He is also thinking about the medical field. He recently did very well in an EMT class and has thought about becoming a paramedic. Regardless he is searching for God's purpose and would really appreciate the prayers.
As far as how long Dan is going to be there, we still don't know for sure, but the Physical Therapist that was in the room this evening said 3 to 4 days. I questioned her further and she only said they have been talking about Dan and he is doing very well. I am not one go get my (or yours for that matter) hopes up, but he is doing well and I don't think he will be there for 3 weeks as was initially planned.
Keep praying and thank you to those who have given to the Dan Barker Medical Fund...to the rest of you thanks for the prayers and if you can give I know it would be appreciated beyond words.
Thanks,
Kris

Awesome Phone Call

DAN CALLED ME TODAY!!! Actually his mom called me, but he was the one who answered. Steve said that last night he had some crazy dreams about aliens, which isn't a surprise to me as he has told me and Jim Smith some of his dreams and they are crazy. Anyway when his parents came in he was relieved. He told them he thought they had deserted him, so he was a little disoriented when he woke up. In the night he worked the wires off that hold his jaws together so I guess they won't take those off Monday after all. He had some pureed food last night through a straw and today they were going to feed him some solid food. Anyway he asked his parents if they had Greg (my brother) or my phone number and asked them to call me. He still has the trach so he is figuring out how to talk with that in by covering it up. He wanted to know what happened. I told him, but the nurse came in to give him some medicine so we didn't talk too much, but he said he would call me back. When I told him I met the guy who saved his life by going for help he thought that was pretty cool and I think he will look forward to meeting Cory. I am looking forward to the next call I get from Dan. I honestly don't know how to explain how fast he is recovering except for the grace of God. Three weeks ago I didn't know if he would live, now he is likely to be moved to a rehab hospital early next week. Isn't God amazing!
K

Dan and Memorial for Kenny Bailey in Prescott

Talked to Linda this evening and she said they have had a good day. They removed all the tubes except for the feeding tube, wound vac and trach. Dan is scheduled to have his jaw unwired Monday so I would expect then to pull the trach fairly soon too. He has also been moved from the step-down unit (a little lower form of ICU) to his own private room today so that was good. Dan is starting to talk, a therapist showed him how to cover the trach so he could get air past his vocal cords, but Dan has figured out someway of doing it without that. Leave it to Dan to find his own way of doing things. Overall good news and a good day.

There is going to be a memorial service for Kenny Bailey at PCC here in Prescott on Wednesday at 11 am. I am looking forward to it and look forward to seeing Polly tomorrow.

Life is good and it is good to be home. Have a great night.
K

Lots of Good News

After we left Dan this afternoon they did another x-ray on his jaw and after that they went ahead and took off his neck collar. That was really good for him. They also have removed the other chest tube and took out his catheter. He was up twice today walking around and they took him outside in a wheelchair. I am sure he loved being outside, but the air made him cough quite a bit. Hope to hear from the Dr. soon on unwiring his jaw, which was part of the jaw x-ray. He was making some sounds after the collar was off so he is starting to try and use his vocal cords. Pray they unwire his jaw soon so they can start to feed him and can remove the trach. Pray that tomorrow is as productive as today. We want Dan closer to home so we can see him more often, selfish I know but it is also a sign he is making good progress. He has lost a lot of weight and is pretty thin maybe lifting will be part of his rehab I am sure he will gain the weight and muscle as soon as he can. Can't wait to have him over for pancakes on a Saturday morning to fatten him up.
Kris

Just Saw Dan

WoW!  Dan has made a lot of progress in the last 10 days since I last saw him.  He recognized us and was moving his arms.  He showed me that he could move all of his finges and was trying to communicate with me.  He did write down who came to see him this morning.  I could tell it was frustrating to not be able to talk and he could couldn't have any water and he wantd some pretty bad.  The hospital in Flag was saying he would be in PV Tueday but a lot still has to happen before that transition can happen.  They did xrays on his neck and those results were good they are going to xray his jaw and if that comes back good they will remove the neck collar.  They can unwire his jaw anytime and that has to happen as well as removing the trach so he can eat.  The chest tube on his right lung is out and the one on the left can go anytime and they also need to remove the stomach tube.  All of that needs to happen before the move so we will have to see if it actually happens by Tuesday or not.  He still has the wound vac and a catheter I believe.  Overall he looks good and seems to be doing very well.  He has been off of pain medication for several days and has only had a little sedative at night once in the past 4 days.  I should have more news later from Steve regarding the jaw xray.  Be praying for everything to happen quickly and smoothly so he can get to PV and start on the therapy.   His parents are doing well and it was very encouraging to see him.
Keep praying and I will post another update later today and of course as things happen.
K

FW: Dan

This is the latest e-mail I received from Dan's mom Linda.

---

Date: Thu, 9 Jul 2009 23:31:26 +0000
From: lbarker547@comcast.net
To: kris_mengarelli@msn.com
Subject: Dan

Hi Kris,
 
Overall, it has been a good day.  We saw the doctor this morning and he seemed to be pleased with Danny's progress.  The decision has been made that when he leaves here, he will go to Mountain Valley Rehab in Prescott Valley.  The question now is as to when.  He has a "baby sitter" with him at all times to make sure that he doesn't pull out any of the tubes or try to get out of bed on his own - or do anything else that he shouldn't.  He has been writing some things on paper, some of which we can read and a lot that we can't.  They are planning on an x-ray of his neck to see if things in that area are such that the neck brace can be removed.  That hasn't happened as of yet today.
 
The speech theraphist spent some time with him today and I think was surprised at how well he did.  It is my personal opinion that Dan is going to surprise them all and be out of rehab and back to doing what he loves a great deal sooner than anybody thinks possible! :)
 
The best for last - they got him up this morning and took him for a walk down a bit past the nurses station.  The nurse and PT people kept trying to get him to spread his legs a bit so he would be a bit steadier.  The nurse told him to walk like a cowboy - without any hesitation, he bowed his legs and walked like a cowboy!  I don't think that was quite what John, the nurse, had in mind but it gave all concerned a big laugh!
 
Have a safe trip home.
 
Linda

Dan Update

I talked to Steve today as well as received an e-mail from Linda.  Dan was more relaxed today.  When responding to commands his response time is getting shorter.  He now has a cast on his left hand and Steve was working with Dan on being able to write.  Yesterday he was trying to write with his hand in the air so he is trying to communicate.  They removed the chest tube from his right lung and Steve thought they could remove the left chest tube and the trach soon.  Once they did that even with his jaws wired shut,  the speech therapist would start working with him.  It also looks like they may move him somewhat soon (late this week or early next week) he may be moved to a rehab hospital.  We hope in Prescott Valley but Steve hasn't heard anything for sure.  We are heading home tomorrow and should be back by Friday and hope to stop in Flag to see Dan.  Keep praying for Dan to fully recover, and thanks for your prayers this far.  Also be sure to let people know about the Dan Barker Medical Fund.
Kris

Dan's News

Sorry I haven't updated lately.  Dan didn't have a good day on Sunday.  Physically he didn't go back or forward, but he was very agitated, frustrated or restless so they had to give him some sedation.  Yesterday was a good day he was back to responding to questions and his stomach was doing better with the food they were putting in his stomach.  Overall I would expect okay days and better days, continue to pray.
As if we didn't know it was a miracle, Amy's brother-in-law investigates accidents and researches them for the government mine safety inspection organization.  He said he knows of only one other person who has ever survied a 40 foot fall and he fell on his side.  For Dan to have taken that fall and landed the way he did and be doing as well as he is let alone just being alive is nothing short of a miracle.  Continue to pray, but take a moment to praise God for what he has done and what he is going to continue to do with Dan.
K

Dan's Update

Dan is doing well, the ggod news is that they are talking about moving him to the rehab hospital in Prescott Valley in a week or so pending any setbacks.  Seems like the Dr.s are very impressed with how Dan is progressing.  They did wire his jaws back together and his right lung was starting to collapse so they did surgery to put a tube in on that side to keep it inflated.  I guess it was collapsing because of the pneumonia.  Steve sounded like they weren't too surprised.  His O2 level was still very good.  Katie said he was frustrated, but did try to say good morning to her this morning.  I will post her status from fb on my wall so you can see what she had to say.  Jeni and Mike got to visit him today and were glad to see him.  He was trying to get up out of his chair and get to his bed.  As far as visiting goes it is okay as long as there aren't a bunch of people at once mid-week would be a good time.  Continue to pray, there is a lot to be thankful for, life being one thing for sure.  My brother-in-law investigates mining accidents and said thet he doesn't know of anyone who has survied a 40 foot fall especially landing the way we think he did.  Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers and don't forget that we are raising money to help cover what insurance doesn't.
Send checks to:
UCYC
Dan Barker Medical Fund
1400 Paradise Valley Rd
Prescott, AZ 86303
KM

On The Move

Wow!  Where to start.  Dan is being moved out of ICU today.  He will be in room 235 bed 2.  He stood up and turned to sit in his chair, stuck his tongue out at his sister (she asked for...literally) and has smiled as best he could.  He is on very little sedation if any.  He is recognizing people and doing very well.  Steve and I both agree that we didn't know if he would make it a week ago let alone be moved to a room already.  There is still a ways to go including rehab, but he is doing well.  Continue to pray for good progress and a complete recovery.
K

Sleepy Day

Talked to Linda (Dan's mom) and Dan has had a lazy day. He was sedated some last night, but no sedation today. He has slept most of the day part of that sitting in his chair. We aren't sure how to interpret that, but it seems like after all he has been through natural sleep as opposed to induced sleep is probably good for him. So at this point, no news is good news.

I am ready to fly to Tulsa to spend the night with my friend Ky and meet Kally. I will hug her for all of you who have been praying and try to take a few pictures for you as well. I can't wait to see my family and enjoy a little down time. Pray for an easy week in facilities here at camp as we will be down to just one facilities stud...Jim Smith. I will continue to be in touch.
Kris

"I'm sorry"

So today they put in the wound vac and that went well and they decided they were going to have him sit in a chair for an hour. Two and a half hours later he was ready to go back to bed I guess. Evidently the "food" they are putting in his stomach made him sick so after they put him to bed he threw up all over the nurse and himself. After that he looked at the nurse and mouthed "I'm sorry." His mom looked at the nurse and asked if she saw that and she said yes he just mouthed "I'm sorry." Great news!

The touching story of the day:
Dan's mom: "Dan, are you in any pain?"
Dan: nods his head "NO"

Dan's mom: "Does your tummy still hurt?"
Dan: nods his head "NO"

Dan's mom: "Do you know that I love you very much?"
Dan: nods his head "YES"

I guess this confirms that he is recognizing people and he is trying to talk. His mom also said that compared to earlier he is not flailing about as before rather it is more like he is trying to stretch. In other words his movements are different. Overall it was a good day for Dano and his mom Linda. Keep praying for a full recovery.
K

Dan Saw Me Today

I was going to write that I got to see Dan today, but he got to see me and Jim Smith today as well. Dan is off of the ventilator breathing on his own through the trach and is still on oxygen. They took him off of the IV sedation and now just give him some through an IV when he needs it. While we were there he looked at both of us with his right eye as his left is still swollen but looking a lot better. We believe that he probably recognized us as we was looking back and forth between us, his eye was tracking very smooth and there was good light behind his eyes. In many ways it was very encouraging to see him because he looks so much better. He followed commands this morning and was able to nod his head "no" when the nurse asked if he was in pain. He is moving a lot and in past posts I have said that they keep him sedated because he is agitated. I am sure he is, but a lot of the movement seemed to me like he was just restless. It seemed like he was moving to try and get comfortable or to stretch, with someone so active I am sure his body wants to move around just for the sake of moving. His fever is kind of up and down which could be coming from the pneumonia and/or an infection. Yesterday they opened up the incision in his abdomen to let it drain and today they are going to put a wound vac in that incision to help keep it cleaned out and draining. I think there is some infection in that area. Pray that the antibiotics and Dan's body fight off and get past the infection so he can continue on in the healing process. Jim and I also think he wants to talk but with the trach and his jaw wired shut it is impossible and that could be a little frustrating. Sometime last night or this morning he worked the wires loose on his jaw and will have to have it wired back again today. The nurse did say they were going to try to keep the visits down today and I think that will be the case until he calms down a little more. I also understand that in order for him to be moved to a regular room he will need to be off the vent and off of sedation...one down one to go. Pray that he would understand more and where he is and the need to be calm and rest as he comes off of the sedation. I know it is tough for him to relax, but that is what he needs to do.

Looking at my report I gave some "I Thinks", those aren't from the Dr. and are my opinion based on the information I have so be careful with those as I don't want to spread false information and I don't want those who read this to either.

Thanks for the prayers and support Dan's dad and sister will likely come out tomorrow and then on Sunday his mom and sister will fly back and his mom is driving on Monday to come back to Flagstaff. Pray they have safe travel. I am bummed that I won't get to meet his sister in person although I am sure we will get to sometime. Even though I am leaving to go on vacation with my family I will be staying up to date and will continue to update my blog with information. There will likely be less to report as he continues to progress steadily, but I will keep you posted daily or so depending on what there is to report. If I don't update it, "no news is good news."

Thanks again for your concern and prayers...things are looking better every day.
In His Grace,
Kris

PS - Don't forget the medical fund for Dan and Michelle pointed out in a comment that it will probably be more legit if checks are sent to the camp as opposed to my home address although either will work.
Make checks to:
Dan Barker Medical Fund
UCYC
1400 Paradise Valley Rd
Prescott, AZ 86303

The Latest

We are into slow and steady it seems for Dan. Today though there was a bright spot. The physical therapist had Dan sit on the edge of the bed! Dan was still partially sedated, but the medical staff was really pleased with how he did. They were on either side of him making sure he stayed balanced, but with help they sat him up so that is some good news. He is completely off of the ventilator, just taking some oxygen. His fever has been staying down around 99 degrees, so they still don't know what caused it to spike. The Dr. did remove some of the staples in his abdomen as it is pretty red and swollen so there may be some infection there that they will need to keep an eye on. His mom seems to be doing okay and it looks like Steve and his sister Katie will be back here Thursday. Jim Smith and I are going up to visit tomorrow morning early, so I should have some more news in the morning. Continue to pray for his healing he has a long way to go.

Don't forget, and tell your friends about the Dan Barker Medical fund. You can walk into any National Bank of Arizona and donate or send a check to me made out to Dan Barker Medical Fund.
Kris Mengarelli
1533 Paradise Valley Rd
Prescott, AZ 86303

The funeral for Kenny Bailey is going to be held on Friday at Hansens Mortuary 8314 . 7th St in Phoenix. There will be a 10 am visitation and an 11 am funeral. Polly seems to be holding up okay although she said she hasn't had her big cry yet. I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose my wife of 15 years, so I know losing your soul mate of 65 years must be extremely difficult. Please pray for Polly to be able to handle the decisions she faces and for her strength in the difficult time. If you have a story about Kenny send it to Jason Price at jason@prescottchristian.com. He is the pastor at Prescott Christian Church and wanted some for the service I believe. If you don't know Jason you are missing out. He is a good man and I appreciate how he has walked through this with Polly and Kenny. He ministers not because it is his job but because of who he is and Who he follows.

Dan Update and Financial Help

Papa Papa
I don't know if I mentioned this here, but the first 24 hrs Dan was known as Papa Papa. I kind of like his new nickname. The mediflight or EMS crews had given the name so ICU used it until his name and data got into the computer. The good news of the day is that Dan spent most of the day off of the ventilator breathing on his own. They still have him on some oxygen, but he is off the vent. He may go on tonight if he has trouble breathing tonight, but then tomorrow they would try to take him off. Earlier today they found 80 ml of fluid outside of his left lung between it and his ribs putting pressure on that lung making it hard to breathe. After removing that he was breathing better. They haven't found the cause of the fever he had yesterday, but CT scans of his head and abdomen didn't show any signs of infection and the spinal tap test for meningitis came back negative as well. He did respond to one command, but otherwise has not. He also has had his right eye open and tracks people across the room although his eye movement is somewhat jerky.

FINANCIAL AID
We have opened an account at National Bank of Arizona called the Dan Barker Medical Fund. As you can imagine the medical bill for this is going to be astronomical. Dan has insurance but is going to need to meet his deductible and I would guess his max out of pocket expense. To contribute all you need to do is walk into any National Bank and let them know you want to donate to the Dan Barker Medical Fund. They should be able to help you. Or you can send a check to me made out to Dan Barker Medical Fund. We have already had the missions committee from a church express interest in donating and an 8 year old girl gave $50 to the fund so if you have been wondering what more you can do besides pray here is your chance. If we raise more than the max out of pocket I am sure there will be some physical or occupational therapy that the money could go toward or if he is unable to work with his hands possibly training or education.

Kenny and Polly
As I mentioned in my facebook status Kenny went to be with Jesus early this morning at 2:50. He was resting peacefully at the time and Polly told us she had prayed that God would take him home as he really didn't have any kind of quality of life. I don't know whether Polly is going to stay here at camp, or move down with one of her children. I also don't have any info on when services will be held for Kenny. I do know we need to keep Polly in our prayers, 65 years together is a long time and I believe those two have truly become one so this is going to be difficult for Polly.

Vacation
My family left for Missouri to visit Amy's family last Friday and I am going to go join them this Thursday evening I am going to fly out. I will then drive back with them around the 8th or 9th of July. I am looking forward to some down time. I will continue to check in with Dan's parents and post updates here. Things seem to be more stable and a little slower as far as Dan is concerned so keep praying for slow steady progress.

Dano

So the spinal tap was negative so that is good news as far as having meningitis goes. Still looking for the infection though. They were to do a CT scan to look for infection in the area of his face where they did the surgery. They were also going to check his abdomen to see if there may be an infection there. Don't have a lot to report, just keep them in your prayers.
K

Ups and Downs

Dan had a good morning when I was there yesterday, his surgery went well etc, but in the afternoon he developed a very high fever and had tremors. They did a spinal tap to check for menengitis and haven't gotten the results back from that yet. Doesn't seem like this is "normal" for this type of serious injuries from what I am getting so we need to pray that the Dr. can figure out what is going on. This morning his fever was back down.

His dad has gone back to Colorado and will return with his sister this week, when will depend on Dan's condition. Please continue to pray for them, especially pray for his mom as it can be difficult being here by herself. I know that it is easier to stay positive when you have someone with you so you can lean on one another.


Kenny Bailey
No new news this morning on Kenny. Please pray for the family. At this point they are simply making him comfortable. It is very touching to watch Kenny and Polly interact with one another even in this time. Their faith is amazin.

Dano

Dan is out of surgery.  He has a trach and a feeding tube that goes in through his side into his stomach.  He looks better, has better color in his face and it is nice to see without the tubes taped to his nose and mouth.  He has pneumonia in his right lung (not the one that was bruised), but is still doing okay and has been initiating breaths on his own just using the vent for the O2.  Part of the purpose of the trach and feeding tube is to clear things off his face and hopefully reduce his agitation when they wake him.  The way I understand it removing the tubes from his nose and getting him a clear breathing passage should help know more about brain damage.  He looks more comfortable than ever.  Continue that there is no permanent brain damage.

His parents seem to be doing quite well.  His dad is going back home to take care of some business and will return with his sister Katie.

K

Dan

At the hospital in Flag this morning to see Dan.  He went to surgery around 8:30 am to put in a tracheotmy and loosening his jaw so they can put a feeding tube into his stomach.  I was told us he wouldn't be out for a couple of hours.  He does have pneumonia which due to the trauma to his lung probably isn't too surprising.  The trach should help him breathe on his own and help them suction out phlem as he coughs it up.  They need to put food in his stomach to keep his digestive system going.  Will send more updates after surgery.
Kris  

Commands

There is some good news from yesterday that I have yet to blog about. Dan obeyed commands! It is tough because I want to be excited and then interpret what that means, but we need to be cautiously optimistic. I think it is very positive, but as his dad said there are going to be ups and downs we are encouraged and optimistic but know there will be some tough days ahead as well.

Today there hasn't been much of a change. He is breathing on his own so the ventilator is not breathing for him although he is still on oxygen. They have been trying to take out the vent tube, but he has been too agitated, thrashing around when they try. He needs to be calm so they can see that he is able to breathe without the vent tube in. They are trying every couple of hours. If they continue to have problems they will pull the tube and do a tracheotomy. So Dan will be breathing on his own through the trach if it comes to that. I know they are going to try and get nutrients to his stomach soon as well. Today he also obeyed some simple commands so that continues to be good news.

I spoke to Carlos - one of the paramedics that found and rescued Dan and have a little better timeline than before. The Rimrock FD got the 911 call at 4:08 pm from a good Samaritan from Prescott named Cory Speight. Cory heard the cry for help and something in it made him realize that someone was truly hurt (he credited God and has been praying with his family for Dan every night, he was grateful for the update). He hustled to the ranger station and reported it and helped them know where he heard it from. He chose to do this as he has no medical training and wasn't sure what he would do if he found someone. Carlos estimated that at 5:40 pm the TRT got to Dan. Dan was not up and moving but did know his name and age. By 7:01 pm the TRT got Dan onto the helicopter at the "Y" where the Weir and Bell trails split. Carlos was not sure when the helicopter took off, because they had some procedures they had to do before they could fly. Carlos was shocked by the fact that as they hiked in 80% of the people they talked to had heard Dan and done nothing. Thank God for Cory Speight. A DPS ranger is the one who flew Dan out.

Greg, David and Don went to the site of the fall yesterday. There is a cable with a cart from the trail side to the other side which is a pretty sheer cliff. The cable car was locked yesterday when they were there, but the paramedic said it was unlocked and on the trail side when they rescued Dan. We are just GUESSING, but we think maybe Dan saw the cart and decided to cross the creek. Once on the other side he climbed up and got to the cart, but the cart rolled to the trail side leaving him stranded. As he was trying to climb down he fell 30 to 40 feet. Again this is a guess and we may never find out for sure.

Please continue to pray for him and his family.
K

Good Morning Visit

Jim Kendrick and I had a great visit with Dan this morning.  The ICU RN allowed us in for about 30 minutes in spite of it being during the shift change.  His early morning wakeup went better than yesterday.  He is not obeying commands yet, but waking up and being agitated is still a good sign.  His head/brain injury is still the top concern.  The only way to know for sure takes time.  The next step is to wean him off the ventilator, remove the vent tube and remove the sedation medication .  They will then be able to get a better handle on the brain injury by communicating with him as he will be awake.  They also are going to need to get a feeding tube to his stomach soon.  They pinned his lower jaw and wired his jaws together so the vent tube goes down his right nostril.  His jaw will be like that for 6 - 8 weeks and his hands may be in casts for that long as well.  The RN said he will have an infection somewhere with this many injuries it is inevitable, hopefully the antibiotics and Dan's body will fight it off.  They have been taking cultures of his blood trying to figure out what bacteria they will be fighting.  Relatively good news overall, but these next 3 to 4 days will be critical as the wean him off the vent and sedation.  Pray that all goes well.
K

Right Hand Surgery

Dan just got out of a 3 1/2 hour surgery on his right hand. It went well, but it was pretty broken up. They used screws and wires to put everything in it's place and some of that will come out at a later date. The Dr. is very uncertain about how much use of his hand he will have. I am going to make an early morning run to Flagstaff tomorrow with Mr. Kendrick. So I will update his progress again tomorrow mid-morning. There is still a lot of concern about the trauma to his brain, as Matt the night ICU nurse said they know a lot about the brain, but there is so much they don't know that it is still uncertain. Please continue to pray for the family as I know this is very draining and can be very difficult times.
K

Trust Him

So much is going on it seems. If you have been following what is going on with Dan there isn't much that is new this morning. Scheduled for surgery late this afternoon on his right wrist.

I stopped to talk to Polly Bailey. Her husband Kenny has been in the hospital for some time now and they need our prayers as well. Kenny is doing okay, but has a long road in front of him and there is a lot of uncertainity on when he will come home, long term care facility etc. Polly is so grateful for prayers and how people have reached out to her. I noticed that while I admire her faith and trust she isn't that much different than the rest of us, it is still hard for her at times. She and Kenny have been married for 64 years (65 soon) and she said she can't leave his side and being at home is the hardest thing for her.

I did get a picture from Ky of their daughter Kally (Kali is how I spelled it before). She is the one we have been praying for that was born with only one chamber in her heart. She is a beautiful baby. Keep praying for her as she has some upcoming surgeries although she is doing really well right now.

So this is how the Body of Christ works, we reach out - we reach into others lives and try to do what Jesus would do.
K

Dan's Out of Surgery

Dan went into surgery later than expected, and just now came out. They put titanium plates in his forhead and below his left eye. The reason his left hand was of such concern there was a bone that was pushing against the nerves that control his fingers and it was extremely important that they remove that pressure so that he would have use of his hand. Surgery went very well and both the Drs. were very positive and pleased with how things went. He will likely have surgery tomorrow late in the day on his right hand.

I have also been thinking about the body of Christ...the Church as God has in mind. No one is asking what denomination or junk like that people are just rising to the occasion. I think this is it. So many people have been praying and helping in so many ways. Someone connected with Young Life (Dan volunteers with them) has allowed the Barker's to stay in a vacation home they have there. Another couple is taking a car for them to borrow tomorrow. People reaching out to those in need now that looks like the Body.

Thanks for the prayers,
Kris

Dan's Surgery

Just called Dan's Dad to see how surgery went and he still isn't in. He is expected to go into surgery around 6:15 pm. I would guess this had to do with scheduling to get both surgeons there at the same time. At this point they are going to do surgery on his face and his left wrist. As I mentioned earlier his left wrist was found to be more in need of repair right now than his right. I will expect to hear from his Dad sometime after surgery is over. Also his sister had surgery today and is home resting doing well to my understanding. Please pray for these two surgeries, and look for an update later on how things went.
K

Dan's Latest

Ahh a nice big keyboard, this typing will go much faster.

Basically not too much has changed regarding Dan since I last posted and that is probably how things are going to go for a while now. There may not be much big news to pass along but I will still use facebook, twitter and text to pass the word on Dan. I plan on checking in with ICU or Dan's dad twice a day, and they know to call me if anything significant happens. I will then post once or maybe twice what I know even if it is brief. Right now things seem to be progressing well, but he is still a critical patient. He has come a ways, but he probably has a much longer way to go at this point.

As far as visiting goes - Dan is sedated which does not mean he is asleep. The Dr. called it the 4th dimension. He said while it looks like he is sleeping he is not necessarily asleep and right now he needs 20 hrs of sleep a day. So when visitors come in talking and such will wake him up. He needs some of that type of interaction that is positive and upbeat, but it is more important for him to get some sleep for the most part. I know this is hard because there are literally a hundred people who would like to see him, but we need to be sensitive to the needs of his family and let them have most of the time in the room. This is going to be a bit of a haul so there will be opportunity to visit after he is out of ICU. I say all of this not to say don't go up, but just be very cognitive of family and Dan and don't be disappointed if you don't get in to see Dan. Right now he and his family need our prayers more than anything.

The latest:
They are planning facial reconstruction surgery for tomorrow afternoon. If possible they will also operate on the right wrist. That will depend upon the schedule of the ortho surgeon. My understanding with the right wrist at this point is that there is a short section of bone that is broken and free floating. While it is not out of where it should be, it is not getting blood flow through it and they want to fix it so he doesn't lose that bone and functionality of his hand. His lower jaw is broken in two places and the left eye socket is going to need some reconstruction which is what they will be working on tomorrow afternoon.
Dan is a fighter and he is fighting hard and doing well for what he has been through and the injuries he has sustained. There has been no change in his brain injury which at this point is good news - not getting worse is a really good thing. It is going to take time now for it to heal. His lungs seem strong, even the left lung is doing well and he takes extra breaths in spite of the ventilator, this is great. I would guess being in good shape really helped with this injury. As long as the antibiotics hold off any potential infection every other injury he has will heal. I think it is important for us to remain positive and upbeat for him and his family. If you do get to see him (which may be unlikely until he is out of ICU) be positive.
Kris

Some Positives

We saw Dan after his CT scan and there are some real postives:
brain didn't show any increase in swelling or damage so it was stable
lungs seem strong they are leaving him on the vent due to upcoming surgery on his right wrist and face.
His vitals have been steady since surgery which is really good.
He does have a broken lower jaw both sides all the way through.  His left eye socket has a lot of damage below his eye and fractures above his eyes and left temple plate.  
They are going to try to do surgery on his rt wrist and face.  Once surgeries are done maybe later this week or the beginning of next week, they will consider removing the vent.  He is progressing but not out of the woods yet.
Kris

Dan

I am getting tired of this little keyboad and long updates, but here we go.  Spent last night at a hotle in flag and got some good sleep.

Dan's parents made it in last night.  His mom stayed last night with him and his dad is staying here today.  I will come home today and his dad will continue to give me updates and I will spread any news.

Dan is doing okay.  Still sedated and progressing.  Amazingly he has broken vertebrae in his neck but it is the "spines" of bone that come off the vertebrae so there is no spine damage and they will heal.  He went in for a CT scan this morning at 8:30 and will be out around 10 am.  There is a lot of waiting at this point.  Head injury is still an unknown but he seems to be doing okay.  His lung is a big concern but he has been taking breaths on his own.  He vent is set for 14 breaths per min, he has been taking 16 breaths.  Infection from surgery is a big concern as well, but he is on some strong antibiotics.  They are looking at his face/head to see how to reconstruct the bones that are broken.  Flagstaff has a great trauma center and they will keep him here for a few weeks in ICU.  

Continue to pray for him and his family.  Let me kow if you have questions.

Kris

Dan is out of surgery

Dan is out of surgery and the surgeon stopped by and gave us the update.  He did find two holes in his small intestine and was able to repair them.  They also removed 72 ounces of fluid.  He now needs rest and prayer.  Dr. said he is doing okay.  Dan's parents are on their way up from Phoenix pray for their emoional strength and safe travel.  Thanks and we will keep you updated.
Kris

Dan Update

Jim Smith and I just talked to the Dr.  Dan is responding to pain when touched in his lower abdomen.  This leads the Dr. to believe he may have an intestinal injury.  They are doing exploratory surgery if they find nothing they will sew him up and he will just have a scar.  If they find somethig they will fix it.  Keep praying for the Dr. to have wisdom and for Dan in surgery.
Thanks,
Kris

Dan Update

I know many of you are praying for Dan.  I will try to keep my blog updated and post the link to my blog in facebook.

The trauma Dr. is most concerned about the trauma to his brain and they don't want the swelling in his brain to increase so they are watching that closely.  The second most critical injury is the deep bruise to his left lung.  After that the other injuries will heal but it is a long road ahead.  The other injuries are a fractured pelvis, laceration to his head, facial fractures, broken jaw, fractured right wrist and other internal injuries may show up later.  The next 48 to 72 hours are critical as far as the head injury is concerned.  He will likely get worse before he gets better, the ICU nurse said that will be difficult for his family and friends to see.  It is a miracle that he is alive and that EMS could find him.  Please continue to pray.  I will try to keep this up to date and accurate.  His parents are on their way and should be here around 10 pm tonight.  I think his sister is also coming later this week.  Pray for their safe travel and strength through this time.  Thanks for your prayers and concern.  Let's stay as positive and upbeat as we can and keep praying.  Thanks again for your support.
In His Grace,
Kris

Kali Kiger

She is HOME! I know this is great news, Ky said she was eating from a bottle and doing very well...better than the Dr. expected. She has been gaining 1/2 to 1 ounce a day which is really good. We need to keep praying for her cardiovascular system to grow and keep up with the demand of her growing body as they prepare for surgery in another 5 months. Ky is very grateful for all the prayers and thoughts. Keep it up and we are excited about what God has done so far.
Thanks,
Kris

Back in the Saddle

Went for a ride this morning at 5:30 am. I hate getting back in shape, I also hate the fact that I have been off the wagon for so long. Hopefully I will start the climb back on the wagon and get in shape for the summer but more importantly for life. I ran yesterday and rode today tomorrow I will take a little time to recover and Friday I will ride again. Now if I can just stay off of the sweets.
K

What the Hell

Okay so I got your attention with the title and now you are going to start reading and have that reaction to this little entry. Oh well guess that is the chance I take for having a catchy title.

I heard a podcast talking about hell, I guess there are two camps (there are probably thousands actually) but two that are sort of opposites. Both use scripture even some of the same scriptures to make their case. On one side is the there is no such thing as hell as we have been taught in the bible camp. Basically "ultimate reconciliation" saying if God is love how could he live with himself by torturing us for eternity. Basically they would believe that there may be a hell but it is more of a temporary or that God will redeem them from that place. On the other side there is the classic hellfire and brimstone believers who almost need an angry God. A God who damn right you will burn and be tortured for eternity. So which is it? Maybe a better question, WHO CARES! No one has been there and people can back up their stuff and you can look at the same verse and have each side tell you what it means. I guess I have less time than they do, because I don't have time to worry about that. No one has been to hell so no one really knows and does it matter? It may be somewhat important, but I run away from the arrogance of saying I have all of anything figured out. I am learning and I want to learn...how to hear Jesus, how to follow the Holy Spirit in my life, how the Father's love fits with his judgment....

On another front I heard a guy just ranting about the prosperity gospel...if you believe in Jesus everything will go great for you and yours, you will get riches, your pig won't die, well won't run dry etc. Disgustingly this is presented in some third world countries! So you go to the poorest place on earth tell them believing in Jesus will prosper them...of course they believe! But not because they know Jesus loves them. It is awful to manipulate people in this way. Again on the other hand you have the scare the hell out of people gospel believe because if you don't YOU WILL DIE FOREVER! What a reason to believe, again not the loving relationship that Father invites us into.

I find myself being less extreme (sounds crazy but spiritually) and more gracious, that includes gracious to God to allow Him to be God and to allow Him room to rescue people from hell or not. He is God I am not, and I just want to learn what it looks like to walk with him daily. I feel like right now I am fumbling around a lot, but I also feel as though I am headed in the right direction.

K

Latest on Kali Kiger

Ky called me today to share some good news. The Docs were first of all amazed that Kali was doing so well. I think they honestly didn't think she would be doing this well, nothing short of a miracle really. They did and upper GI and she has all of her organs, spleen, stomach and everything else and they all seem to be functioning fine. They aren't where they are supposed to be, but that is still good news because they are working. Her heart and lungs are doing as good as they expected. The Docs think that she may go home in a couple of weeks. She needs to start eating, she tries but Ky said he thinks it is a matter of time her throat is sore when she swallows and she is still recovering from major surgery.

Be praying for her because the next big surgery is actually 6 months out, but Ky said that it is important that as she grows her heart and lungs and blood vessels keep up. I guess it is like the body grows and increases demand and the heart, lungs and vessels have to increase the supply. If that doesn't happen then the Docs said there isn't much they can do for her. Obviously that would be tough. Ky wanted me to make sure and thank everyone for their prayers and thoughts. He is positive that is what has brought them this far so continue to be thinking and praying for the Kigers.

Kris

Kali Kiger

Ky called today and said that Kali is off the ventilator breathing on her own! This is great news. Pray that she begins to eat next. She can nurse but still isn't getting anything. Also we can be praying for the next surgery, it will scheduled for 3 months from now. Hug your babies and say a prayer for Ky, Theresa and Kali.
Kris

Whew!

It has been a busy run lately. I have been working a lot on remodeling a house here on camp that we also moved into last weekend (at least partially anyway). We have had volunteers on camp so that has kept me working as well. So after 2 1/2 weeks or so without a day off I am toast. I am taking it easy today (or at least trying) and I hope that helps me get refreshed for more. I think I am going on a mountain bike ride and am taking lunch to the kids...ahhhh! A little relaxation is good for the body, mind and soul.
K

Kali Kiger

Just want to send out the latest on Ky and Theresa Kiger's baby Kali. Monday they closed her chest and her one chambered heart is functioning as expected for the most part. They have been working to wean her off of the ventilator and we need to be praying that she will begin to breathe on her own. It has been a hectic for the Kiger's, but it seems as though Kali is stabilizing a bit. Continue to pray for them to have strength and wisdom and for Kali's health. Ky also says thanks to everyone who has been praying it is what has gotten them through.
K

Love First

I listened to a podcast today that helped me quite a bit in sorting things out that I have been thinking about regarding my faith. The God Journey podcast is one of the few podcast that I listen to and it has been okay, but today it really spoke to me. I was listening to one titled "Kindness and Severity". I know that there are those out there who would criticize Wayne Jacobson and Brad Cummings as having a love only view of God and I have been wrestling with how that works with what I read in the bible. In this podcast they did a good job of explaining that they do believe in a God of judgment and "severity" but the point they had was that we need to start with God's love because that is where the severity of God comes from. I think the point they were making is that if we KNOW that God LOVES and live in that LOVE then the severity comes from love. I don't feel like I am doing it justice, but it is similar to the book I am reading by Brennan Manning titled The Furious Longing of God where contradictory terms are used to describe God. It seems like we want to separate who God is when in fact He is love first and love always even though that includes love with judgment, love with fury, love with... I have found myself in the past wanting God to be the mean God of judgment with people I had already judged rather than loving them as God loves me. The bible says "God is Love" so everything He does is motivated by love. Unless I am mistaken I don't think the bible ever says "God is Judgement", "God is wrath" etc. He is love, His very being is love and I may never completely understand how God's love and wrath go together, but there is no question that they both describe God. I think maybe it helps me to just know that God is Love and everything he does comes from this crazy about me love...even when it doesn't make sense or it even hurts.
I hope this whole post doesn't sound too convoluted.
K

Kali Kiger

I talked to Ky today, he said last night and today were the first good days they have had. They have been unable to take Kali off medications to allow her kidneys to remove fluid and swelling due to inaccurate readings regarding her blood pressure and some other vitals. They get those readings from a probe in a blood vessel and they can’t find a vessel that will hold and give them a good reading. Kali has been “fighting” the Docs so they have sedated her to the point of paralysis so she won’t move and pull things out etc. Tonight they are going to try to put the probe for her vitals in her brain (not sure how that works). If that doesn’t work I am not sure what is next. They sure need our prayers. I think Theresa is doing okay and Ky sounded better today than he has since the baby was born. I could tell because he was asking me about my family and how we were doing.
Keep praying for them,
Kris

Good Friends

If you have seen my facebook page you know that I have been using my status to ask for prayers for Ky and Theresa Kiger. I spoke to Ky yesterday and have gotten some more information. Kali is so swollen from the surgeries and she cannot handle any more surgeries so if she has any more complications with her heart or if the swelling would affect her brain there is little the Doctor's could do to help. They are going to begin to test her kidneys as they move her off medications to see if she can remove the fluid from the swelling herself. The next 48 hours are fairly critical. If the surgery is successful she has life expectancy of 8 years or so. After that they can do a heart transplant which will give her another 10 to 12 years. Theresa has been taking it hard understandably so. She and Ky both really need our prayers for strength through all of this. Please continue to pray.

Keep My Commands - In Context

Reading today from John 14 - 15 somewhere in there. John 14:15 in context looks very different than I have heard it used. That verse is the classic "If you love me you will keep my commandments.." and from there the question is what are the commandments Jesus wants us to keep. Often I have seen those commands listed as all sorts of things, mostly external IE - tithe, be baptized, don't use profanity, don't drink, don't smoke, don't chew, be in church every time the doors are open, hand out tracts, evangelize, serve in the church, etc. But after reading the verses (chapters even) before and after that verse I didn't find any of those in there.

I found this in John 13:34-35 "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I love you, love one another..."

I found this in John 15:11-15 "...This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends..."

I admit that I am just as prone to make a list of commands because it is easier than learning to live loved and learning to live a life of love. I guess more than anything I am excited to finally figure out what the commands are and I am grateful to Jesus for keeping it simple for people like me and for giving us the perfect example.
K

Easter Is Confusing

Had a nice talk with my 4 year old:
Gunner - "Dad what's Easter"
Me - "It's when we celebrate Jesus coming back from the dead."
G - "How did he do that?"
Me - "He is God"
G - "How is He God?"
Me - "That is how He was created to come to earth."
G - "So does He bring all the eggs?"

Darn Easter Bunny
Gunner comes to me with some candy he found in an Easter egg - an atomic fireball jawbreaker. I told him it was hot but he was determined to eat it so I let him. He puts it in his mouth and in a matter of seconds covers his mouth with his hand. Then after a few more seconds he spits it out..."Dad my tongue needs some water"

LOL! Love my kids they bring me so much joy.
K

Performance-based Christianity

I was at this small group meeting last night of a sort of random group of people. Amy and I enjoy it and thought that last night was the best discussion that we have had. We were talking about Jesus and his first role is salvation. As we discussed what this looks like I asked the group (Amy and I are the youngest so there is a lot of wisdom) how! How do you live this life in Christ? The life in Christ that Jesus talks about where we are one like Jesus and the Father are one and we are intertwined...John 13 - 15? There was some good discussion and I got a few things out of it. Someone said that spending time reading the bible and praying is not necessarily for God, He doesn't need it, I need it. I need to give it some more thought, but it is true that I need that to help me with this walk. Although the bible does say that God inhabits the praise of His people. I was grateful to NOT get the usual stuff that is said about when you don't have that daily time with God your day goes bad (performance based love and grace from God on your day), but your day may seem better because your attitude is better by starting the day off in reading the bible and praying.

The other significant conclusion that I came to has really helped me. Our society is very performance based. If you do good work you get promoted, if you do well in school you get college paid for, if you are good in sports you get a scholarship and the list goes on. I am not saying that is bad, but it is the reality of where we live. As such whether I applied this same performance based attitude and applied it to my faith or whether churches in the West have helped create this doesn't matter. What does matter is that where I am in my faith right now is on a journey out of performance-based faith. Performance-based anything is so conditional. God is not going to love me any more or any less based on what I do. This doesn't give me license to go sin (just ask Paul) rather it helps me know that God loves me period! I can't earn more of His love than you and God isn't going to withhold His love for me. This kind of love draws me into Him more and more, I want to read, I want to pray I want to get close. It is a challenge to break this performance based thought pattern. I will also say this is pretty fresh material for me so I have some more processing and don't mind some help so I you want to talk about it or make a comment I would love to hear from you.
K

Last Words

Lately I have been helping coach a middle school wrestling club. We are just getting started and haven't wrestled any tournaments, but I have been thinking about what is said before the match. What do the college basketball coaches say to their team right before they go on the court? After reading a little in Brennan Mannings new book "The Furious Longing of God" he mentions John 13 and then it clicked...the last instructions before you go on the mat or court or field are typically the boiled down version of everything you have been working on in practice. So if I want to "get" what Jesus time with the disciples was about I can look at what he told them before he went to the cross. So I think I am going to spend some time reading John 13 - 15 as I prepare to celebrate what Christ did for me. One thing that I just realized this morning is that it is here that Jesus says if we love Him we will keep his commands and in this same chapter he commands us to love Him. This was quite a revelation for me because I always have thought I can't keep all the commands of Jesus, which ones exactly should I keep? Ten Commandments, all of the law, how about the sermon on the mount...don't look on a woman with lust that is the same as adultery etc, wow that doesn't help because the sermon on the mount only makes the Ten Commandments look easy. I think Jesus came to ask us, command us to love as he has loved us..."the greatest of these is love, love the Lord your God with all you heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself." I am truly seeking to love as Jesus loved us.

Can't wait to see what else I find in the "pre-game meal" Jesus had with His disciples.
K

Laugh 'Til She Cried

Yesterday I was listening to some podcasts from The Drew Marshall Show truly the best podcast interviews I have ever listened to. I suggest checking him out if you get a chance. One of the podcasts was comedy bits just for fun to finish his show and so last night I played them for my family. We watched all of the ones at this link Tim Hawkins and my kids and Amy laughed until we cried. It was so much fun just laughing as a family...like camping we need to do that more.

99.5%

I went to church at PCC this morning and the message was about 99.5%. Danny Cox mentioned that only 0.5% of our time would be spent in church on Sunday morning and that really got me to thinking. What about the other 99.5% (which was his point). Whether or not I go to church is not necessarily what makes the difference, it is really what I do with the other 99.5%. At our bible study on camp last Thursday we talked about really trying to live this relationship with Jesus day in and day out. Checking our hearts and how do we do that...by checking out hearts to what the bible says, allowing the Spirit to lead us and interacting with others (both Jesus people and those who aren't Jesus followers). Obviously I got something from going to church as I was challenged, just one of many ways God uses people to touch us. I am also reading a book by *Brother Yun a Chinese Christian called Living Water and the first chapter talks about our need to repent in the context of truly turning our lives over to Christ. He talks about a missionary to China who was bringing other missionaries in China to Christ. I realized that there are many "Christians" who need to come to Jesus...as I begin to search my heart I realize I may very well be one. Needless to say this has all hit me this weekend and I am looking at my spiritual journey wanting to be diligent with following and pursuing this faith I have. I don't want to go through the motions and if I am not taking 0.5% of my time going to church Sunday mornings then what am I doing with 100% of my time to grow in this walk with Jesus.

*When searching for a link to Brother Yun I found some controversy surrounding him being a heretic. Upon further search I found this open letter by his co-author that seems to support and clear up the controversy. I can say that whether or not he speaks for God what he has said has pointed me in the right direction in my faith Phil 1:12-20

Ouch

Gotta tell the story because I have heard of this happening but yesterday it happened to me. It doesn't make me feel smart, but worth sharing.

We are under the house we are remodeling putting up insulation. I am using a hammer tack staple gun (a staple gun that you use like a hammer to drive the staple) and I hit my index finger right on the tip. I look down and have driven a staple through my glove and fingertip. I try to take off my glove and I can't because the glove is stapled to my hand. I use my razor knife to pull out the staple and don't want to take the glove off to see the damage. Only one side of the staple went through my finger. Fortunately it went through right off the end of my fingernail and came out the other side. Like I said it makes a guy feel pretty smart.

Sweet Conversation

So today I am in Barnes and Noble browsing for books and I see a guy I know from PCC. We end up having the best conversation we have ever had, it was interesting. Honestly I can say that we weren't exactly great friends, it wasn't that we didn't like each other but at the time we both were at PCC things were different. After talking to him today about his journey through some church stuff and my journey through some church stuff and where that has taken us in our relationship with Christ. I found we have a lot in common. At one point he apologized for a meeting he and I were in and that stood out to me, the meeting didn't but the fact that he apologized did. I found myself thinking to myself "wow he has changed" then my next thought was so have I! God has done a lot of transforming in my life, sometimes I think more than I realize. Most of what has changed has to do with my heart toward others and that is significant. I know God still has a lot of work to do with me, but it was a great conversation today that helped me realize how much work Father has already done. I am such a mess in so many ways, that alone humbles me and helps me realize that if God can love me he can love anyone.

Camp More Work Less

If I could I would camp more and work less. We went camping this past weekend and had a really good time we were at Dead Horse Ranch State Park with our great friends Jim and Michelle Smith and their family. We also ran into some other great friends Mike and Shae Morris by accident. We had a great time fishing and just hanging out. The big kids played memory with the little kids. I love the way camping gets you away from tv, computers video games. I think we need to camp more and work less.

Inside and Outside

"Those people are on a dark spiral downward. But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn't so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you've done. You didn't think, did you, that just by pointing your finger at others you would distract God from seeing all your misdoings and from coming down on you hard? Or did you think that because he's such a nice God, he'd let you off the hook? Better think this one through from the beginning. God is kind, but he's not soft. In kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change."
Romans 2:1-4 from The Message on Bible Gateway

"Those people..." at the beginning of this passage refers to people Paul talks about in chapter 1 who "...know perfectly well they are spitting in God's face. And they don't care..."

So last week I was talking to a friend and we both have come to the realization that this passage of scripture was talking to us. I realize now how judgmental I have been toward others. How little grace I have had for others and where they are, not allowing God to be big enough to love them. Five years ago if I knew of someone who said they were a Christian, yet they drank, chewed and cussed I would have questioned their faith rather than think the best and see what God has actually done in their lives that has been good. This leads me to want to ask for forgiveness from all those whose faith I have judged by my standards, because I am that person now. I don't want to change my behavior because the Christian culture says I should, I want God to work on me from the inside out, I want him to have my heart and do the changing. Does this mean I have a license to sin? Of course not (just ask Paul) it does mean that God is working on things in my life that are probably more important like my heart and attitude toward others (inside of the cup) and less concerned about some outward things (outside of the cup). I am still really processing through a lot of this, I feel a need to press into Jesus more so He can work on me. I feel a need to become a whole lot less self-righteous and a lot more humble.

This is what God is doing in me, it isn't that pretty really, but it is good. It isn't fun, but it is good. I know this that he wants more of me and I want him to have more of me too.
K

Luke 11:38-40 The Message
When he (Jesus) finished that talk, a Pharisee asked him to dinner. He entered his house and sat right down at the table. The Pharisee was shocked and somewhat offended when he saw that Jesus didn't wash up before the meal. But the Master said to him, "I know you Pharisees burnish the surface of your cups and plates so they sparkle in the sun, but I also know your insides are maggoty with greed and secret evil. Stupid Pharisees! Didn't the One who made the outside also make the inside? Turn both your pockets and your hearts inside out and give generously to the poor; then your lives will be clean, not just your dishes and your hands.

"Quiet Times"

Amy and I are a part of a bible study on Tuesday nights. It is interesting because we are the youngest and the only ones with small children. Mom and Dad come over and watch the kids and we really appreciate that. We also appreciate the people in the group and the wisdom that they all bring to the group. Anyway it is a different small group than we have ever been in, but it is really good.

Last week we watched a video about "Quiet Times" it was interesting as the proper Christian stereotype of "quiet time" (qt) is taking time everyday in the morning to spend time in prayer and reading the bible. Which is a good thing, but my brother mentioned how at one time he worshipped his quiet time...this is also true of where I have been. I think sometimes as humans it is easy to turn things into something we worship rather than keep our focus where it should be. As I was growing up I got the idea that how much, how long, the quality etc of your quiet time would define how good of a Christian you were. There is a balance in there - obviously spending time praying and reading the bible is good, but it can be made into a performance based thing which robs it of what it is intended for and this is something I had done with it. I would love to turn the blame to someone else (and there are those out there who push the qt in this direction), but I am the one who lost sight of it's true purpose. I also feel as though I have in the past judged others based on their qt and that I have pounded on people with a big qt stick. For that I am sorry, the guy in the video was good at pointing out the relationship part of a qt. The guy on the video suggested asking God to show you how to have a qt that works for your relationship with God. The thing that stood out to me the most was "pray your mind", basically instead of praying a list and forcing your way through it because you "should" pray this way pray about what God has put on your mind. I have done this a lot lately and it is a staple of my qt and it happens throughout the day. I still need to work on my time in the bible and journal (I just like to journal), but it is good to focus on it as time for my relationship rather than a religious expectation I have put on myself and others.

No matter where you are, simply taking 15 minutes or so to just clear your thoughts and focus (for me on my relationship with Jesus) is a good thing that really can help you relax and destress.
K

Working It Out

So Amy and I have started the Body for Life 12 week program and have finished 2 weeks. I really like the workouts, especially the lifting, the running is another story. I am highly motivated especially after my birthday and because Al Ortolani told me lovingly that I would eat myself to death. I know he told me that because it was true and for motivation so that I wouldn't. So anyway the workouts are going great, the issue is eating. I have not done well following the plan this second week, so Monday (Sunday's are days off) I am going to make a new commitment to strictly following the plan. It has made a difference in how I feel especially when I follow it closely, so here we go...starting NOW! If you have any ideas or encouragement let me know...I am running in the Whiskey Row 10K in May in loving memory of Al Ortolani so I have got to get going.
K

Thirty-nine and Holding

I turned 39 last Friday (the 6th) and had a great birthday with lots of birthday wishes via text and Facebook. It was nice, we had a couple of dinners with friends and family and played a little pool last night. All in all it was a great birthday. I really appreciated all the birthday wishes and had a great time with my family and friends.

It is a little weird being this old, I don't really feel old, still think I am 25 I think. Ultimately I have a full year to prepare for turning the big 40. I don't think I am going to let it bother me, just keep plugging away. I am thinking my goal for 40 is to ride in the Whiskey Row 25 mountain bike race. All in all life is good and going to just get better and better.
K

Sore Economy

The title is unfair to what I am blogging about:

Sore - as I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs changes are coming. Amy and I have been getting up early this week to go to the gym and workout. I am quite sore, but feel really good. My line around the guys I work with after only 1 - 5 day working out, "I worked out, I'm huge!"

Economy - I have been getting more and more concerned about the stupid economy news that is so negative that one might think the world is coming to an end...today. If it does well hello heaven, but if we have to live here, it is nice to read someone with a good perspective on things - Dave Ramsey. He wrote a blurb about how things aren't as bad as they seem, you can read it here (The Dave Ramsey Show) it may brighten your day.
K

Tuckered

This past week has been a wild and wet week. Tuesday we had a water leak and in order to fix it we had to turn off a water main because the water shut off at the house didn't work. When we turned off the main the handle broke and we didn't get the water off. So we had to dig up the main to fix that valve handle and we replaced the water shut off for the house with the leak and another house close by. After all that we still hadn't fixed the leak and that was a 14 hour day. Anyway the rest of our week was spent fixing broken stuff and filling in holes, having a septic tank pumped and snaking the toilet and fixing the shower all in the house with the leak. I am fatigued and feel tired all the way into my hands and feet. I like the way it feels when my hands are tired, sore and rough...it feels like I have been working. So while it has been a wild week all in all it is good...good to have a good job.
K

Coming Change

I have been looking at where I am in my life and feel as though I need to make some changes. Not to worry I don't plan on moving - we have done enough of that - it has more to do with changes in how I live my life. I am looking at some things that I feel like I need to improve. I think where I want to start is getting back into shape. I am about 30 lbs overweight and I want/need to get rid of the extra weight. Obviously health is a concern, but mostly I want to make an appointment to go show my Dr. I can weigh 200 lbs and not be obese. My motivation comes from my wife (who is joining me on this endeavor). Al Ortolani my college football trainer who told me I would eat myself to death (he did it out of love to tell me I could if I wasn't careful) I am running the Whiskey Row 10 K in his honor and memory. My Dr. called me obese...I may be but Doc piled it on me that day classic male pattern baldness, hope your body holds up to the work you do...it was a little tough. I also don't think he realizes that I will never weigh what the BMI says I should. Anyway stay in touch as I let you know what other changes I am looking to make.

Why It Stings

Just watched the Cards lose in a great Super Bowl game. I love great football games and the Cards did themselves proud. They weren't supposed to be there and then when they got there they came to play. It was a heartbreak of a loss and I was wondering why it bothers me so much. I think it is because I got so into the game, and then it took me back to my Sr. year at Pittsburg State University where we won every game of our season except the National Championship. (I know it is hard to believe but NCAA division II actually has playoffs...what a concept.) I know the heartbreak of losing the big game. I know in the grand scheme of things it is not that important, it isn't that big of a deal compared to my faith, but still I know the sting of giving it your all and coming up short. I am glad that God, my family and my friends love me when I give it my all and come up short.
What a game! Congrats to the Cards!
K

The Opposite

I don't know if any one (of the 1 person who reads this) are fans of Seinfeld, but there is an episode where George starts doing the opposite of his every instinct and his life gets better. At one point his girlfriend says "Who are you George Constanza?" and George replies "The opposite of every guy you have ever known."

Contrary to popular belief, I think a lot and lately I have been thinking a lot about my faith. It is good because as I consider what I believe my faith gets stronger. I can't say I have really been doubting or questioning in a "is this true" sense as much as pondering the bedrock of my beliefs. And I end up asking "Who are You God of the Universe?" I doubt He answers like George did, but I do think we as humans struggle to truly understand Him. How do the complexities of an infinite God fit into our finite brain? So what or who is God?
God is love
God is just
God is holy
God is righteous
God is giving
God is servant?
Whoa...I don't usually think of God the Father as a servant, but Jesus was fully God and fully man. In Jesus I think we get our best picture of who God is, but I still want to guess what Jesus was thinking, I want to guess what God is thinking and I think that can be adding to the Scriptures and I don't want to be in that boat.
So I think there is some mystery in who God is, I think I need to continue to tune in to the Holy Spirit in my life and read the many faceted diamond - the bible. I need to be comfortable with what I know of God and what I may never know until I see him face to face. Until then I know that I love this God who loves.
K

The End of Religion

I am re-reading a book by the pastor of a church in Canada - Bruxy Cavey. The premise of the book is that Jesus came to end religion (not church he started THE Church). Anyway he starts by defining religion:

""any reliance on systems or institutions, rules or rituals as our conduit to God." The "religion" I'm talking about in this book is any system of rules or regulations, rituals, and routines that people use to achieve their spiritual end-goal...I don't believe that any one system or institution is the way to connect with God, although these things may be able to play a supportive role in our journey."

"The Jesus described in the Bible sees the things people normally associate with religion, like prayer and pilgrimage, baptism and Bible study, church attendance and charitable giving, as possible expressions of the spiritual life God gives, but not the means to obtain it. Do I kiss my wife to earn her love? Or do I kiss her to express the love that we already share? One represents the insecurity of religion. The other shows the intimacy of faith."

He goes on to talk about where Paul writes about our salvation being a free gift so that no one would boast. When I was in high school and college I remember people telling me or asking me if I was religious and I was always quick to deny it and say no but I have a relationship with Jesus. At time looking back I'm not sure if I was relying on Jesus or if I was proud of how "disciplined" I was with the rituals I thought were important for Christians to do. You know church attendance, morning QT everyday, etc. Now I feel like I am transitioning from religion to relationship. I feel as though I am motivated to be in God's Word or prayer or giving etc out of my love relationship with him rather than because I "should". I also think that religion is either human nature or it is Satan's way of taking a good thing daily bible time, prayer etc and turning them into meaningless rituals or it is both. I know that we like to get into routines but I didn't see Jesus doing a lot of routine things. He did what the Father asked him to do when it was time. Feed 5000, share a meal with one, heal this person, teach children there was no formula. I am not sure when I began to slide down the slippery slope of religion, but this book has been good to open my eyes to me. This journey is amazing, it is an opportunity and I have enjoyed getting back to relationship.

Lighten Up

My last two posts have been pretty heavy, I thought maybe I would make an entry that would lighten things up a bit. My son Gunner was outside playing with one of his friends and he cut loose with a little gas. The little girl laughed and said "you tooted." Gunner says "yeah but I'm not stinky, Mom and Dad are stinky." Those of you who know me, I am sure you will agree.

Thanks for Thoughts

I will quote here a couple of comments from Facebook that were made on my last blog entry "Freedom in the Fellowship" as these guys have brought up some interesting perspectives. I would also like to make it clear that Bonhoeffer refers to Christians living in community which I think is true in the broadest sense of the word community. I think it can be true with Christians and how they treat those who are not followers of Christ, how different church denominations look at each other and how two Christians who know each other only on Facebook might treat one another.

"Sometimes it is of our own insecurities, we find that one needs to find fault in others appearance, actions, misdeeds etc to lift our self up above because we want to measure up. this can be done knowingly or unknowingly. What is bad is when it is knowingly and even maliciously brought into the house of God or used as a tool to feel "holier than thou" and Christians that should know better act evil spirited.... It is hurtful to my spirit if I dwell much on often negative, selfish or careless actions of those in leadership on many levels from parents, educators, church leaders, political leaders and self professed Christians who knowingly attribute to this often dog eat dog, me first, materialistic world."

"I think in most fellowships you do have those who you describe who know they are the best Christians. However, there are many of us who walk into that same fellowship well aware we are not the best. We know full well our weaknesses, our doubts, our lack of faith and see the so-called (or self proclaimed) "best" Christians and see that we fall woefully short. As a result, we do not engage, & we do not feel safe in sharing our weakness for fear that we will be found out and judged by those we see as the "best". We wonder if the "best" are struggling with the same things we are, but feel that if we were to ask them, they would deny those struggles and would then look down even more on those whose faith is weaker than theirs. One of the most important things God has taught me over the past few years is he loves me just as I am."

What I hadn't thought of and got a good perspective from both of these two guys I quoted is that there are two sides to this. Self-justification and judgement (measuring ourselves against others) is bad either way. Some of us selfishly (as the first quote points out) really hurt others and abuse the power we think we have and really put ourselves up there. While others (as the second quote points out) self-justify and judge (measure ourselves) and find we fall way short. Both are a problem if we are trying to walk this walk closer to Jesus. Neither allow God to be the God who saves instead we are either puffed up and better than everyone else or we are so defeated by the reality of who we are that even God can't help us. When I think of and read what Paul writes he is a good example of someone who came from self-justification and judgement (before he met Christ on the road) to a good understanding of God's grace. I am going to do some reading of Paul's writings to continue to allow God to work this into my heart. I want to live by God's grace and remember the One whom I serve...every day.

Freedom in the Fellowship

"A Christian Community should know that somewhere in it there will certainly be 'a reasoning among them, which of them should be the greatest.' It is the struggle of the natural man for self-justification. He finds it only in comparing himself with others, in condemning and judging others. Self-justification and judging others go together, as justification by grace and serving others go together." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

This writing of Bonhoeffer has really hit me lately. He mentions that it happens in Christian Community and I think that means more than a church on Sunday, but it means any Christian living in any community. It seems to be human nature for us to want to "do" things that justify us when in fact it is by grace. I also think that is why Jesus came as a servant to give us the example of serving. In John he says he didn't come to condemn the world but to save it...save it by serving.

Bonhoeffer has an interesting solution:
"It must be a decisive rule of every Christian fellowship that each is prohibited from saying much that occurs to him. Where this discipline of the tongue is practiced right from the beginning, each individual will make a matchless discovery. He will be able to cease from constantly scrutinizing the other person, judging him, condemning him, putting him in his particular place where he can gain ascendacy over him and thus doing violence to him as a person. Now he can allow the brother to exist as a completely free person, as God made him to be. Now the other person, in the freedom with which he was created, becomes the occasion of joy, whereas before he was only a nuisance and an affliction."

Where I work we talk about "Think the best, speak the best" in regards to others sometimes I think we are so busy speaking we accidently travel down the slippery slope of self-justification and judging just because we say too much. I am not sure what else I think about all this as I am still processing it, I do know that it is human nature to measure ourselves against others. We may not say it out loud but we are like James and John wanting the best seats in heaven because we are the best of the 12 disciples, we are the best Christians. I know this because I have lived there most of my Christian life and am more and more coming to realize that I am a messy Christian. I am just trying my best to follow what the bible tells me, trying my best to be a follow of Jesus in spite of my many weaknesses and downfalls. And I find myself more and more giving more grace to other messy Christians like me.
There but for the grace of God go I.
K

Prayer For a Friend

My friend Ky and his wife Theresa are expecting and they called me today to ask me to pray for them and the baby. I guess there are developmental problems with the heart and the stomach. Ky was pretty broken up and understandably so. I would appreciate any prayer for my good friends and their baby.
Thanks,
Kris

The Start of a Blog

I have been thinking of starting a blog but thought I might just "blog" on facebook, in that way those who are my friends can keep up. I am not sure if I will be consistent, but there are times when I enjoy writing to express how I feel or what is going on in my life.
Currently I have been thinking about my faith, where I am in my journey with Jesus. There have been some crazy things that have brought me to this place, but I am in a good place. I really feel as though I am closer to Jesus than I have been in a while. Over Christmas I read quite a bit from the book of John and it has been good. I love reading what Jesus did on earth and learning more about him. I am far from perfect as a matter of fact I have picked up a few bad habits of late, but I think that is because rather than let Jesus deal with who I really am I have just hid them because of what other Christians might think of me. Really I want Jesus to change me, change my heart, change me from the inside out rather than me just trying to look good on the outside. I have found Jesus changing me, but not starting where I would start, he seems to be more concerned with how I view others than with making me look good to others. He has been working more on my attitude toward others than with how I look to others. I know I will continue to grow and change, but life is good and I am content with where he has me right now.
In other news, Will has been wrestiling and he went 2 - 2 yesterday at a Middle School tournament, that is pretty good for a 5th grader. He loves it and truth be told I enjoy it too. Karis is doing great at learning the piano. She loves it and works hard at it, she also loves to help with little kids and cook...now if we could just get her to clean. Gunner celebrated 4 years old today, we had a house full of 3 and 4 year olds and it was busy. We took the Socker Boppers (you know basically inflatable boxing gloves) out of their box after the boys left because we thought it would escalate quickly with boys hitting boys, and Gunner and his friend Gracie went at it, it was hilarious and they had so much fun.
Well those are my thought for the day, hope you enjoy your family as much as I do mine.
K